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Five Lakes review

The Five Lakes Golf hotel has two courses.

Anthony

Cottesmore review

The Cottesmore Golf hotel has two courses.

The hotel was not quite up to what I expected. We were ushered around to make room for other societies and a wedding on the Saturday, which left me feeling like a second class citizen. A lot of the staff did not seem to be able to make decisions and there were a number who I would not employ. Having said that Helen who worked in the bar, was always smiling and friendly, which made a pleasant change, she also appeared to know how to use the till.
The hotel bar is also the course bar and is not really set up to deal with larger groups. The seating area layout meant that we were separated most of the time, which was not conducive to bringing the group together and we were left in small groups.
The health facility was good, with steam room, Sauna, Jacuzzi, Weights room and pool, all of which were reasonably well maintained.
Finally the wedding on the Saturday finished at around 12:30am which was fine, however some of the guest stayed out in the courtyard until well past 2:00am making a lot of noise and the hotel staff made no attempt to curb this excitement.

Other than my golf and a couple of the points above I did enjoy my stay at Cottesmore, meeting some new HOWGS and playing courses I have not been to before.
Anthony

Hellidon Lakes Review

The Hellidon Lakes resort promised much, but failed to deliver to its potential. Other than a couple of staff (Linda/Zoe), they were quite a surly bunch and did not seem to have much respect for the customer. The rooms we were given were located around the courtyard above the bins and delivery area and as such we were all woken at around 6:30 when the laundry or Fruit & Veg was delivered, there was also the smell of cigs in my room, as this was an area staff used to relax and get a break. After the first night I was promised there would be no delivery on the Saturday, so when this happened I asked for a change of room. The room they provided was much better and overlooked the course rather than the bins. So if you get the opportunity always make sure you get a course view if possible.
We also had a number of complaints about the menu, especially the lack of choice and the supplements for things like Steak or Cheese, but I wont go in to that. Without the support of Linda, I am sure our evening dining would have resulted in a trip to the nearest curry house in Daventry.
Having said the above the weekend was spent with good company and in good spirits, some may say too good! From all I heard afterwards everyone enjoyed themselves and their time spent with distant friends. Thanks to Gary, as usual for organising the event and bring on next year.
Anthony

Gary's Jokes

A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course and heads into the grill room. As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER: £4.00
HAMBURGER: £2.25
CHEESEBURGER: £2.85
CHICKEN SANDWICH: £3.50
HAND JOB: £50.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers. She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer.
"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?"
The old golfer leans over the bar an whispers, "I was wondering, young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs: "Yes Sir, I sure am."
The old golfer leans closer and into her left ear and says softly, "Well, wash your hands real good because I want a cheeseburger."